acceptance

Acclimating my self and accepting my new life change has taken me awhile. On Sunday morning, I felt as though my depression about such a dramatic change in my life has been lifted. I don't know how, or why, but it has lasted into this week. I am embracing my new lifestyle of working full time, and getting used to the idea that this will be my role for awhile. The beauty is, it will always be a different day, and different shit. I say this with love, and a smile

ripples in the lake

Tonight as I went on a hike with my boys and 2 dogs, I witnessed something spectacular. I sat on a mossy ledge, looking out onto the lake. The boys were throwing sticks, and Eli was practicing "ninja kicks" on a dead tree. I saw the water bugs making ripples near the waters edge. I then followed my gaze out across the lake a bit and was amazed to see the entire lake was filled with these water bugs creating ripples, reflecting in the sun. They were glistening in the orange glow of the evening sky. It was raining water bug ripples! It was beautiful, almost surreal looking. It struck me then that in yoga we speak of the mind being like a lake, and our thoughts are like ripples. Each thought has an effect, and different intensity on the quality of our state of mind. Meditation seeks to bring your mind back to its essential state, a state of calm and quiet. If we can learn to watch the ripples, and learn to not get to attached to our thoughts, increased clarity comes, and our state of mind is more calm, relaxed. I am reminded of the verse from yoga sutra: "yoga chitta vrtti nirodhah" translates as "Yoga is the cessation of the fluctuation of the mind". If for 5 minutes, you can take time to just sit, or lie down, breathe, listen to your breathing, and watch the flutter. You can find a space, a small space, even the briefest of moments that stop the chatter of the mind. In this space, you will find peace, bliss, the sound and feeling of God.

setting my intention

If my intention is to laugh more, then I most certainly will be more apt to look at the bright side of life. If my intention is to practice more yoga, then more than likely I will try to carve out more time to practice. Setting an intention is a good practice. The term "practice" means we keep trying, keep at it. Our intentions will fade, our intentions may change. Sometimes they may fail. If I continue to be mindful of what I am intending to do, I will live a more inspired and purposeful life. I know this sounds silly, but I am longing to see a turtle in my yard or driveway. So, I am intending to pray and hoping to find one! I am also intending to spend time doing fun and free activities with the kids after work, even though I am tired. I need to be with them, and see their little bodies growing and running with ease. During my yoga practice this morning, I breathed into my body, feeling every inch of my legs that were screaming at me. As I breathed into my tight spots, I looked up, and saw the sun peek through the cover of morning gray clouds

Filling myself up

I want to grow, so I will expand. I want to transform, as my body takes on the shape of yoga postures that fill me with light. I am stressed at times, by my new lot in life. I work long hours, in a giving profession, where I give much of my energy to those in need. I struggled last week as I yearned for my kids and the time that I used to have with them. Yoga class for me is a rarity and a fortune when I am able to break away and take a class to fill my soul up. So, instead of crying about it, I am studying, with increased vigor, the genius of many revered yoga masters. This is how I will fill myself up. Reminding myself that life unfolds naturally, and with the right intention, I can also feel connected to a purpose that is uniquely mine. As I fold deeply into my legs, I extend my trunk, my heart reaches up to my mind, opening the deep well of love and wisdom where God silently sits. I long for this time, this time of silence with God. Creating silence within, I can mold into my daily chore of working, and feel the energy that I need to transmit to the residents at WellSpring. I also want to be receptive to whatever comes up, and first ask of my heart, the correct path. This is the beauty of yoga, the inner listening, that creates outer glistening!