Breathing on a bolster

Today was a "blah" day. I had the blahs all day long. Although I reflected on many of my gifts and blessings, I still felt like I was stuck. I felt heavy, on the inside. I felt dull, and inert. This state in yoga is called tamasic. I trudged through my day, and made it home in one piece ( I had a weird conversation with the bank teller in the drive thru in which she asked me if i trusted her...that's kinda odd, I thought, of course I trust you, with my measly 187.34 cent deposit) anyway, I made it home in one piece. The kids and I hung out on the deck and just talked and looked out over the green grass and full trees. I had planned to practice yoga in preparation for tomorrow's yoga class. spreading out my blanket, I attempted triangle and felt heavier still! I laid on the ground and gazed up at the sky, the planes, the wisps of clouds and the birds swooping around. I breathed into my heart, into the God that lives inside my heart, that felt so far away. Maybe it was me that was far away from God. I practiced long, restorative stretching and felt release in my skin, my hips, my head. Space was occurring now, and I began to catch a glimpse of the feeling tone of my mind. In my final pose, I closed my eyes and breathed into my body, retaining the breath at the top of the inhale, and at the bottom of the exhale. Neck...let go, allow your back body to rest, to feel the full support of the earth and pillows beneath you. Feel the love that is surrounding you...whispered a small voice in my head. I began to see the dullness color being penetrated by a yellow/golden light. Not bright gold, but more like a harvest gold, that was behind the murky grey/brown color of "tamas" that was inside my being. Breathing in deeply, this yellow expanded, and the grey/brown color melted and reappeared, moved around and changed. Slowly, the color changed, inside with the movement of my breath. It wasn't the bright golden color of heaven, but earthy, like a wintered over leaf, that was beginning to show signs of new growth.